Rhymes for anyone

[Gavin Archery]

I'm starting this thread for people to put brief poetic verses on for the enjoyment of all.

To start us off........

I wanted to make myself something for lunch,
I fancied a few bananas or maybe a bunch,
Afterwards my tummy began to ache,
I farted and followed through for Pete's sake!

[Gavin Archery]

I went to the dentist as my tooth ached so much,
He pulled it out under anaesthetic, and told me he was Dutch,
He used to work in Amsterdam in the red light area,
He'd shaved his chest for a film cos before it was hairier.

[Winchesterox]

Being a little monkey, the event you describe is quite acceptable.

[Gavin Archery]

A hippo trotted across the dry river bed,
He was being pecked by a pelican on the back of his head,
The pecking had caused an open wound to appear,
And the loss of blood was making the hippo feel queer.

[Gavin Archery]

I was singing carols in a church at the rear,
My voice was husky and my tone a bit queer,
The candles were burning and the temperature hot,
And my my feet were killing me rather a lot.

[Simon Lill]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got alzheimers
Big mac and chips

[Gavin Archery]

I was swimming the channel when I was bitten by a shark,
It was April 1st and unfortunately dark,
I managed to keep swimming and the wound wasn't too bad,
I survived the attack, I'm a very lucky lad.

[rambler]

There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her toes in the doorway,
She said to her young man, who was on the divan,
Darling I've just found one more way.

[Gavin Archery]

I sat at my desk with my head in my hands,
Scratching my ear, and flicking rubber bands,
At the girl from accounts with the curly brown hair,
Hitting her very occasionally - he name is Claire.

[Gavin Archery]

One day I took part in a 10 kilometre run,
By the end I was knackered - it wasn't much fun,
I was out of breath and had a ruddy complexion,
And had difficulties getting and maintaining an erection.

[Gavin Archery]

I decided to go to Spain for two weeks,
Packed my thong, so I could tan both of my cheeks,
On arrival at the hotel, I changed and made for the pool,
My arse on display, boy did I look a tool!

[Agadoo]

There was this bloke called Archery
Who hadn't popped his Arse Cherry
He went to the Clink, bent over the Sink
and the wing Daddy buggered him senselessly

[Gavin Archery]

Man Utd are missing Ronaldo, its true,
Without him they are just a pile of poo,
He was skillful, stylish and a matchwinner on his own,
If you could make a new player, he's the one you would clone.

[Boogaloo]

A little blues number.

I woke up this morning
And I didn't wanna go to work
So I phoned up my boss
And I called him a "Stupid burk"!

[Gavin Archery]

I was picking strawberries at the local farm,
When a passing wasp decided to cause me some harm,
It stung me on the chin and a swelling appeared,
It was so unsightly, I decided to grow a beard.

[Gavin Archery]

I fancied a drink so I went to the offy,
But it was closed so went home and made a black coffee,
I started to drink it while it was too hot,
And this burn on my lips is just what I got.

[Gavin Archery]

I rubbed a lamp and a Genie popped out,
Offered me 3 wishes, why should I doubt,.
I wished for a lady to massage me all day,
A million pounds and a Ferrari in grey.

After a while I was bored with being needed,
So asked the lady to stop and she heeded,
My money soon ran out and the car was too dear to run,
I need another wish Genie, C'mon me old son.

['Beav']

Gav can you only rhyme using rhyming couplets?

I think you should write an OUFC sonnet!

[Gavin Archery]

Do what you feel comfortable with.

I'll do an OUFC one soon.

[Gavin Archery]

I caught a spider under a glass,
It was an enormous bugger with a hairy arse,
I went down the garden and let it run free,
And accidentally trod in some fox shit and wee.