|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 5, 2011 11:01:40 GMT
If you make a mistake you can use an eraser, Keep it the pocket of your old school blazer, Learn from mistakes and become much wiser, Keep all your change and become an old miser.
|
|
|
Post by mancyox on Jan 5, 2011 12:24:27 GMT
There once was a man from China, Who wasn't a very good climber, He slipped on a rock and broke his cock And now he's got a vagina.
|
|
|
Post by Vulcan XH558 on Jan 5, 2011 12:34:33 GMT
There is a young(?) man known as Nun, who writes silly poems for fun, but sometimes he's grumpy, Cos he's got no scrumpy, so why don't you all buy him one? ;D
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 5, 2011 13:20:35 GMT
I always wanted to be a gynaecologist, Didn't qualify at college, spent too much time pissed, The thought of becoming one now makes me feel queasy, I'm glad I'm an accountant thesedays, how cheesy...... :-)
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 13:06:48 GMT
The largest mammal on the planet is a whale, Can only support its weight in the sea, Apart from small flippers and a very big tail, It's body is long and blubbery like me.......
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 13:27:32 GMT
I want to study the table as soon as I get back, From football on a Saturday afternoon, To see where we are and the points that we lack, And work out where we will get some more soon.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 14:43:59 GMT
Working in an office you can often meet, A person of the opposite sex, MK Pete, I once met a girl who revealed way to much, But I resisted and decided to look but not touch.....
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 15:02:19 GMT
I want to be a father for the fourteenth time, So am telling the forum in this little rhyme, My other thirteen kids give me much fun and joy, 12 lovely girls and one lovely boy......
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 15:18:09 GMT
My favourite sandwich filling is pickle and corned beef, But the meat tends to get caught up in my teeth, So I look in the mirror after I've had my food, And using a tooth pick clean away the offending particles.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 15:32:22 GMT
If I were an animal, I'd be a bird, You can fly up high and then drop a turd, Did you know birds do a combined wee and poo, Its the truth, thats just what they do.....
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 6, 2011 15:59:50 GMT
Anyone else think that curry is the best, Makes you feel happy and puts hairs on your chest, The hot spices set your taste buds on fire, And the glow in your mouth makes you want to perspire....
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 7, 2011 14:25:56 GMT
When choosing a car you should consider many things, Like economy, looks and whether the engine sings, If it coughs and splutters and the exhaust emits blue smoke, Don't buy the car and give the seller a poke.....
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 7, 2011 15:16:29 GMT
A visit to the zoo as a kid was a treat, I used to love the elephant and his big plates of meat, I liked the way he sprayed water at each passer by, It was always quite sad when it was time to say bye.....
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 7, 2011 15:28:13 GMT
Swimming strokes are interesting, but which is best? The backstroke, the butterfly, the front crawl, the breast? They all have merit but the breast stroke is mine, Although synchronised swimming is equally fine.
In terms of watching on the telly. :-)
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 7, 2011 15:38:36 GMT
How long people live is down to exercise and diet, And also cos its better to grill food than fry it, Try and eat vegetables and plenty of fruit, And also you'll be less ill during your life to boot.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 9, 2011 10:08:27 GMT
My 5000th post is on the thread, I've posted from the heart but also the head, Here is to Oxfords resurgence in form, And the rise up the league becoming the norm..... :-)
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 10, 2011 16:42:10 GMT
Big Ben is the old father of time as it's known, I have a clock on my own mobile phone, My phone is a Sony and it is black and white, But it keeos turning itself off and my friends think it's shite......
|
|
|
Post by Paul Cannell on Jan 11, 2011 14:21:42 GMT
Oh, my old man's a blacksmith, he lives in a blacksmith's forge. He wears a blacksmith's apron, and he's got a small cat called George.
|
|
|
Post by Gavin Archery on Jan 11, 2011 14:26:02 GMT
I spotted an older couple making love in a field, Twas my uncle Bill and his friend from the women's guild, They moaned and groaned and screamed out loud, And i thought my goodness my uncle is well endowed,
as he got up and turned round........
|
|
|
Post by oxontop on Jan 11, 2011 20:35:07 GMT
I'm not much of a poet, And boy don't I know that, Every line that I say, Doesn't rhyme.
But seriously, I do know what would probably challenge for the world's rudest limmerick if anyone's interested. I don't want to just post it and offend anyone.
|
|