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Post by Behind The Goal on Sept 16, 2010 17:04:09 GMT
What have the pope and Bob Geldof got in common?
They're both Ratzingers
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Post by Behind The Goal on Sept 16, 2010 19:48:40 GMT
Why is the popemobile good for the planet?.......
......
......
Because it has a catholic converter
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Post by junior1 on Sept 16, 2010 20:12:01 GMT
I've just had one of those new Dave ready meals... It keeps f**king repeating on me!
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Post by sentinel on Sept 17, 2010 12:10:11 GMT
When George Michael is released from prison he is going to issue a remix of 'Careless Whisper'.
The new title will be 'Brainless Fister'
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Post by Surreal Madrid on Sept 17, 2010 12:17:39 GMT
Tickets to see the Pope now available on eBay.
You have to pay immediately though by Papal...
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Post by bicesterox on Sept 17, 2010 21:52:03 GMT
That Colleeen Rooneys thick! When she heard Wayne had paid £12000 for an escort she said I hope its taxed & MOT'd
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Post by Bampton Beech Boy on Sept 27, 2010 20:07:54 GMT
A bloke was offered a new job and a chance to work at Heathrow Airport on their new body scanning machine. The head of security said 'You can look at t**s & tw@ts all day long'. 'I do that every other Saturday' was the reply, 'I steward at Swindon Town'
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Post by Bampton Beech Boy on Sept 27, 2010 20:11:15 GMT
I took a dyslexic girl home once, but she ended up cooking my sock
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Post by Boogaloo on Sept 28, 2010 15:11:49 GMT
When David Beckham scored I drunk a pint of Becks When Paul Scholed scored I drunk a pint os Skol Thank f**k David Seaman was a goalkeeper!
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Post by dreamwaves on Oct 1, 2010 10:18:52 GMT
Stupid Language Joke
The mouse was taking her offspring out in search of food when they were confronted by a cat. Immediately, the mouse began barking like a dog. Frightened, the cat ran away.
Turning back to her children, the mouse mother announced, “That shows you the importance of learning a second language!”
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Post by oxymoron on Oct 1, 2010 12:29:48 GMT
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Post by Gavin Archery on Oct 1, 2010 12:32:58 GMT
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Post by oxymoron on Oct 9, 2010 11:34:22 GMT
The wife has promised me a good time tonight - she wants to try the "Chilean Miners Position". I asked her what that entailed and she said that when she gets to the bottom of the shaft, she won't be coming up until Monday....
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Post by oxymoron on Oct 13, 2010 12:38:42 GMT
"Knock knock..."
"Who's there ?"
"Grandad......"
"STOP THE FUNERAL !!"
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bybv
New Member
OUFC - Reclaiming OX10 from the plastics
Posts: 21
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Post by bybv on Oct 13, 2010 13:08:25 GMT
What's the difference between a sniper and constipated owl?
One shoots to hit.
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Post by chris1986 on Oct 13, 2010 23:23:51 GMT
Anyone watch the news footage of those people getting rescued from their ordeal? Great to see the smiles back on their poor grubby faces and the faint glimmer of hope in their pathetic mundane lives. Still hope Everton beat them on Sunday though.
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Post by Winchesterox on Oct 14, 2010 11:31:52 GMT
Not really interested in all that Chilean rescue news, its only a minor event.
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Post by Gavin Archery on Oct 14, 2010 11:38:18 GMT
I was walking into work this morning,and a passing car deliberately drove through a muddy puddle, covering me from head to toe in filthy water. I didn't say anything, just gave him a dirty look. :-)
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Post by oxymoron on Oct 14, 2010 17:22:29 GMT
I was told that if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster.
I tried it, but it seemed more sluggish.....
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Post by Bampton Beech Boy on Oct 16, 2010 19:35:46 GMT
A local MP is visiting a local nursing home & asks a 93 yeard old woman 'Have you been bed ridden since you've been here?', 'A couple of times' she replies, 'but I prefer it up the arse on the sofa'.
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